Adam opened by wondering why an officially licensed remake, with Paramount and the original screenwriter on board, could flop so badly in India. He laid out two theories: Forrest Gump’s “shut up and you’ll prosper” politics don’t translate, and Tom Hanks’ subtle performance is almost impossible to replicate.

Winnie pushed back, noting that critics weren’t entirely merciless; many praised the ambition. But she eventually admitted that Aamir Khan’s third turn as a “slow” character felt repetitive. Khilli agreed and dropped the first of many hot takes: the movie falls apart because no one in India buys golgappa in a box—a gag the script relies on repeatedly.

That led us into an unexpected underwear tangent. The film swaps Bubba Shrimp for Rupa undergarments. Khilli, who grew up with the brand, couldn’t believe the blatant product placement, while Adam joked that he refuses to drink Pepsi because “it’s not a girl’s name.” Nicky chimed in with the question: “If the shrimp company had been called Jenny, would you buy more shrimp?”

About halfway through, we compared the two war sequences. In Forrest Gump, he more or less drifts into Vietnam after college. He signs up because he literally has nowhere else to go. Laal, by contrast, actively volunteers for the 1999 Kargil conflict—a decision that carries a much heavier weight in India’s military-service culture. Khilli argued that no small-town underwear heir would abandon a successful business to enlist, and Adam pressed him to explain why Kargil still looms so large in the India–Pakistan narrative. The history lesson that followed was more gripping than the film’s own montage of news clips.

We did find some bright spots. Everyone loved the de-aged Shah Rukh Khan cameo, India’s Elvis, alive and kicking, and Adam wished the film had leaned further into that kind of meta madness. But when the songs kicked in with zero dance numbers, Adam yelled, “No dancing?!” and Winnie groaned that the movie wanted Hollywood gravitas without Bollywood joy.

The conversation wrapped with the ending: the remake’s version of the Haley Joel Osment reveal. We ran the original and the remake side by side and agreed Hanks could deliver heartbreak with a single glance, while Khan needed violins and extra dialogue. By then, we had all come to the same conclusion: while Forrest stays largely apolitical, Laal is written as a symbol of overt nationalism—a choice that many believe hurt its box office performance.